Wednesday, April 18, 2007

God's faithfulness

And sometimes all you can get out is is a low whispered "wow."
Sometimes an encounter with God leaves you leaping up and down, sometimes it leaves you just breathless and still at the revelation of truth. Church on Sunday was amazing. I went to Park church in Chicago. The pastor talked about Missional Living and the Beatitudes. We talked about what Jesus meant:
To be poor in spirit is to be broken before our God, to know our lowly estate when compared to His holiness, and to know that we're bankrupt apart from God's grace and mercy in our lives.
To mourn is to grieve our evil actions in our past that have hurt or destroyed our lives, and to feel sorrowful for others and their pain, and to mourn their actions.
The meek are not pathetic, weak creatures, but the most humble, caring ones who know
The rest will be covered this Sunday, which I believe I will be able to attend.
I sat and fully realized how far God has brought me from where I was. I've been forgiven and made clean in His eyes. I'm nothing, and deserve not the things I've been given, yet our God gives them so freely to me. That said, it brought me to a "wow" moment as I fully realized just who I am to be, and how I need Jesus to guide me.
That said:
My home has never been a wonderful place to be. My dad has issues... a lot of issues. Things have gotten pretty bad in the past. But God has given me hope, and reminded me of who I am, and who I'm to be.
I'm a sinner. I'm dirty, stained, evil to the core. I guess you could say that I've got issues. I'm a downright failure without Jesus making me into something worthwhile. I'm just a sinner, but under grace. That certainly doesn't make me "better" than anyone else, in fact it should make me more lowly, knowing my state compared to the Holy God. God has called me to serve those who need Him, which is truly all of us.
I got up on Monday and prayed, as I usually do in the mornings, but I really felt for my dad, he never had a childhood. He turned nine, and suddenly was expected to be grown and fend for himself. He just never got over it. I prayed "God, please, make me a witness to my father. I do so love him." And God was truly faithful. He gave me peace and a new hope. I believe that through love and kindness, my father will see in me the love of our Father in heaven, and find peace and healing.
After all, God's kindness leads us to repentance. Who am I to behave any differently?